I And Love And You
by LochNessie17
Summary: If there is one thing Santana knows, it is that words have the power to make or break dreams. At a time in her life when she was too afraid to admit who she really was, she sent a two word text that reshaped her entire future. Now years later, will she finally manage to say the three little words she's been holding onto all this time? Christmas One-Shot.


_I can't._

I have grown to despise those words over the past four years. Unfortunately, only time can tell how much of an impact one decision will have on your future. With two small words, I single-handedly eliminated any chance I had with the only person I've ever loved, and now all I have to show for it is my regret.

* * *

><p>It had been a long time since I had found myself over at the Berry household, and now that my car was parked outside the spacious home, I couldn't help but be a little afraid of how the night would turn out.<p>

You see, it was the night of the Glee Club's third annual Christmas party; a tradition we started our senior year when we all realized that most of us would be going our separate ways after graduation. It would also just so happen to also be the first time I would see my favorite blue-eyed blonde in about a year. At least, it would be the first time seeing her in person.

After graduating, we kind of went our separate ways, much like the rest of the Glee Club, with me moving to New York while she packed her bags for Massachusetts. Despite the distance, we managed to stay in touch through texting and Skype, but nothing could ever substitute actually being with her, live and in person.

Slowly releasing a steady breath to try to help calm my nerves, I opened the car door and stepped out into the chilly air. As I weaved through the snow-covered vehicles that lined the driveway, I couldn't help but realize that none of them were the car I was most interested in seeing and heaved a small sigh of relief.

Apparently, _someone_ out there in the universe decided to cut me some slack by giving me just a little more time to mentally prepare myself before her arrival, which I was extremely grateful for.

Walking up to the doorstep, I rang the doorbell and instantly received a collective _"Come in!"_ from everyone inside. By the time I had a chance to say hello and catch up with all my friends, about thirty minutes had passed with still no Brittany in sight. Now only biding my time, I decided to get a drink to sip on while I secretly anticipated her arrival. Just as I was about to move, however, I felt a pair of arms make their way around my waist, causing my body to involuntarily still.

Slowly craning my neck back, I found the girl I had been waiting for resting her chin lightly on my shoulder as she half-whispered with a small smile, "Hey, Stranger."

"Hey, Britt-Britt. Long time no see," I replied in a similar tone, though mine was a little unsteady as a result of her sudden close proximity.

"Yeah, _way_ too long," she stated as she tightened her hold on me slightly, seemingly unaware of my nervousness.

Feeling my cheeks start to heat up, I quickly tried to divert her attention by spinning out of her hold and asking, "So, how have you been? MIT still treating you well?"

"Well, actually I-"

Her words were abruptly cut off by a shrill voice yelling out, "Oh my goodness! Brittany S. Pierce, when did you get here?"

Turning around, we found none other than Rachel Berry standing a few feet away with an excited look on her face.

"Just a second ago, actually," Britt answered as she allowed the Hobbit to pull her into a hug.

Releasing her hold on the blonde, Berry took a step back and responded, "Well, come take off your scarf and coat. We have a closet right over here where you can keep your things for the time being."

"Alright," Brittany returned before diverting her attention back to me. "I'll be right back. Don't go anywhere," she warned with a mischievous glint in her eye as she gave me a quick bop on the nose and followed Rachel out of the room.

Just as the blonde's retreating form popped out of view, I heard someone shout, "Lopez, I need a Beer Pong partner!" Glancing in the direction of the voice, I found Noah Puckerman walking towards me with an expectant look on his face as he grabbed ahold of my forearm and began guiding me towards the basement.

"No way, Puck. I haven't even had a chance to fix myself a drink yet," I protested as I tried to pull away, but my efforts didn't seem faze him in the least. Instead, he just glanced back at me with a proposition in mind.

"Look, if you come help me kick Chang-Squared's asses, I swear I will personally make whatever you want to drink for the rest of the night. All you'll have to do is ask."

Thinking for a minute, I took one last look in the direction Brittany had gone before turning back to face him, responding, "Fine, but I want a drink in my hand as soon as we're done. Got it?"

"Yes, ma'am!" he replied excitedly as he continued to lead me towards the room below.

* * *

><p>Puck and I were about midway through our game with the Changs when I suddenly felt someone lean in right behind me to whisper, "You left without me."<p>

Giving a slight jump, I spun in place to face the blonde I knew was standing there.

"Damn it, Britt! You need to stop sneaking up on me like that."

"Only when you learn how to stay put so I don't have to go searching all over the place just to find you," Brittany shot back playfully.

I was about to make a snarky remark of my own when I heard Puck suddenly cut in to playfully retort,"Hey, Brittany, I know you just got here and all, but I need you to stop distracting my partner. We're six cups away from winning, and she needs to maintain her focus."

Brittany gave the boy a playful eye-roll before walking over to snatch the ping-pong ball out of his hand.

"Hey! What are you doing?" he asked in a bewildered tone.

"I'm taking a few celebrity shots," she replied as if it were obvious.

Knitting his brow in confusion, he informed, "We don't normally play with celebrities."

Without missing a beat, Brittany looked over towards the party's host, who was talking to Kurt and Mercedes on the other side of the room, and asked, "Hey, Rachel, what are the house rules for celebrities in Beer Pong?"

Pausing her conversation, the brunette briefly shifted her attention to us and absentmindedly answered, "Yeah, sure. That's fine."

"Thank you," Brittany responded cheekily, giving Puck a playful smirk before asking me, "Are there any re-racks left?"

"Yeah, want to use one?"

Glancing at the other end of the table, Brittany answered, "Yeah, I'm thinking Zipper. Sound good to you?"

"Sounds perfect."

"Good deal," she said before telling Tina how to arrange our cups and motioning for me to take the first shot.

Lining up my arm, I let the ball go and watched it fall into the plastic cup closest to us, causing all our spectators to cheer. Just when I was about to move to give Brittany some room to set up for her shot, I felt her press a hand to the small of my back as she took the spot right next to me.

"Good job, San," Britt quietly whispered into my ear before looking back out across the table to our opponents. "Ball out, please," she requested, waiting patiently for Boy Chang to remove my ball from the cup. Taking a brief moment to align her shot, she tossed the ball across the table, making it give a small bounce on the table before falling into the same cup I had made.

I remained completely frozen for a moment, both because of the amazing shot I had just witnessed and the feeling of Brittany's hand pressed against the fabric of my skin-tight dress. Slowly bringing my gaze to hers, I could only manage to airily whisper out, "How did you do that?"

"Elementary, my dear _Sanson_," she quietly answered with a small wink as if it were a secret she would only share with me, which caused a wide grin to appear on my face. Everyone around us used to underestimate Brittany when it came to school stuff, but I've always known. Brittany was always more clever than she let on. Knowing her, she probably worked out a bunch of mathematical formulas out in her head to find the optimal angle and force necessary for her to sink the shot. Of course, no one would ever know that by the way she simply waved for them to give us the balls back and glanced over at me to ask, "Which other cups do you want?"

Thinking for a minute, I gave a slight shrug and responded, "Let's just get the next three down the row. Keep it simple."

"Okay, do you want to go first again?" the blonde inquired.

"Nah, you can go ahead."

Sending me a small nod, she waited for Mike and Tina to remove the three cups from the table. Once they were done, she readjusted her stance a little and took her next shot, making it into one of the two remaining cups like it was nothing.

"Nice!" Puck yelled out, holding out a hand for Brittany to hit.

After quickly giving her a high-five of my own, I set myself up to shoot. As soon as the ball left my hand, I knew the shot would be off and watched as it hit the rim of the last cup before bouncing into Mike's awaiting hand. Letting out a small groan, I looked over to the girl beside me and apologized with a slightly mumbled, "Sorry, Britt."

"Nah, it's okay. We'll get it on our next turn," she encouraged as she shuffled a little closer to me and began lightly rubbing my back with the tips of her fingers in a comforting gesture.

Thankfully, Tina was the only one to make a cup during their next turn, and since it was my turn to drink, I reached out and grabbed the cup. Before I could knock it back, however, it was plucked from my hand, causing me to snap my head to the side and playfully glare at the culprit.

"Hey! It's my turn to drink," I chided while reaching out to snatch back the cup from Brittany, but she quickly moved it out of my reach.

"Nope, I haven't had a turn yet, so it's mine," she corrected with a sly grin before downing the contents and placing the empty cup off to the side with the others. "Anyways, are you ready to win this thing?"

Rolling my eyes at her refusal to let me drink the cup, I decided to drop the issue and simply answered with a firm, "Definitely."

"Awesome! You go first," she insisted, motioning for me to move to the spot in front of the table to take the shot.

With a sharp nod of my head, I readied myself and took what would hopefully be my last turn. The ball was off once again as it landed just to the right of our last cup, causing a frustrated groan to slip past my lips. Suddenly, I felt Brittany's hot breath at my ear as she whispered, "Don't worry about it, San. I got this."

My heart felt like it was going to beat out of my chest as she leaned back, her hand finding purchase on my lower back once more as she prepared to toss the ball. It had been so long since we had been in such close proximity, and I still wasn't quite used to her being so close to me again. Completely swept up in the feelings that knowledge evoked, I almost didn't even register that Brittany made the game winning cup, forcing the Changs to have to make a redemption shot in order to stay in the game.

Tina was the first to go, completely missing the cups they had left. Mike focused himself for a long moment while trying to line up his shot perfectly, but he put too much power behind this throw and completely overshot his target, making us the victors.

"Yay, we did it!" Brittany cheered as she wrapped her arms around my waist and picked me up.

"Hey, put me down," I giggled as she proceeded spin us around in a circle before returning my feet to the ground. "Besides there really wasn't much of an _us_ since you ended up doing most of the work."

My response caused a small smile to appear on the blonde's face as she immediately refuted, "Nope, it was definitely a team effort."

I couldn't help but roll my eyes at her stubbornness and was just about to comment on the matter when I suddenly noticed someone approaching us from out of the corner of my eye.

"Hell yeah! Way to go, Ladies! Looks like I owe_ both_ of you a drink after that win," Puck suddenly cheered as he pushed his way between us and wrapped his arms around our shoulders.

"Actually, I think I've got it covered," Brittany stated as she slipped out of his grasp and nodded her head back towards the stairs, silently suggesting that we go up to the kitchen so she could fix us something.

Sending her a nod in agreement, I unwrapped his arm from around me and followed her to the other side of the room.

"Hey, where are you going? You guys have next game."

"We're good for now, thanks," Brittany threw over her shoulder without so much as a glance as she started to make her way up the steps. Chuckling at her response, I looked back to find Puck just standing there with a baffled expression on his face. I was just about to suggest that he ask Quinn to play when I heard Brittany call from the top of the staircase, "Come on, San."

Shifting my gaze up towards her, I sent her a quick smile and continued my path towards the kitchen.

"Alright, so what'll it be?" she questioned as she stepped behind the makeshift bar, placing her hands on top of the counter so she could support her weight as she leaned slightly over the barrier between us.

"Actually, I was thinking about _me_ making us a couple of drinks," I offered as I stepped around to be on the same side as both her and the liquor.

Following my movement with her eyes, Brittany shot me a knowing smile and simply retorted, "Yeah, no thanks, San."

"Hey! I make awesome drinks," I argued, but that only caused her smirk to grow.

"I think you're forgetting about the time you tried to make everyone margaritas and ended up putting _way_ too much tequila."

"Bullshit! They were _not_ that bad."

Letting out a loud laugh, she replied, "Yes, they were. No one could even drink them."

"You did."

"Only because I didn't want to see you cry. You were already on the verge of tears just from seeing everyone else's reactions after their first few sips. I would have just sent you over the edge."

"I was_ not_ about to cry," I muttered under my breath, but it was still loud enough to where she could hear me.

Rolling her eyes, she responded, "Okay, Ms. Weepy Drunk. Whatever you say."

"You know what? I think everyone just needed to get on my level. Those 'ritas were awesome," I playfully griped as a small smile started to peek through my exasperated facade.

"Santana, I'm pretty sure that was just the alcohol in your system playing tricks on you because that stuff was nasty," Brittany teased back.

"Okay, fine," I conceded. "They were terrible, but I blame Puck's cheap ass for not splurging on the good stuff. My recipe would have been spot on if I hadn't been forced to use that bottom-shelf shit."

Shaking her head slightly, she chuckled out, "You aren't going to let this go, are you?"

"Nope," I concluded with a cheeky grin, earning me yet another exaggerated eye-roll from the blonde.

"Fine, how about I make the first round of drinks, and then you can try to redeem yourself as a bartender?"

"Yeah, I think that sounds pretty fair."

"Good. So, what'll you be having?" Brittany inquired as she motioned to the numerous bottles of alcohol that were displayed in front of her.

"An Amaretto Sour, please."

"Alright, two Amaretto Sours coming right up!" she replied with a smile. "So, it's been a little while since we've had a chance to catch up. Anything interesting happen in the past few months?" Brittany asked as she unscrewed the cap to the bottle of Amaretto and started to pour the liquor into a plastic cup.

"I came out to my parents," I suddenly divulged, and as soon as the words had left my mouth, Brittany snapped her crystal blue eyes up to meet mine.

"You-" she began, but her surprise from my admission must have gotten the best of her because her voice quickly trailed off. There was a long moment of silence that passed between us before she finally managed to ask, "You did?"

Trying to play it off as if it weren't a big deal, I answered, "Yep, I sure did, but yeah. Anyways-"

"How did they take it?"

"Huh?" I asked, now feeling a little caught off guard myself.

"Your parents. How did they take it? I know that you were really worried about how they would react to that sort of news for a long time, and I just-I hope that everything went better than expected."

I stood there with my mouth slightly open for a moment, still in shock from the sudden serious turn in our conversation, before finally managing to say, "They took it well, I think. Certainly better than I could have ever imagined, which was a like a huge sigh of relief for me. I was so scared when I went over to tell them, but I knew that I was ready so I just went for it."

She continued to stare at me with unwavering eyes for a long while until finally breaking her silence.

"I'm so proud of you, San."

Finding myself suddenly unable to hold her gaze, I shifted my focus to the drink she was still making and tried to ignore the burning sensation radiating from my cheeks as I replied, "T-Thanks." It had been so long since she had looked at me that way; like I was the most amazing thing she had ever seen.

"So, is there anyone special waiting for you back in New York?" she questioned as she moved to hand the cup over to me.

Processing her words, I felt my eyes widen slightly before I managed to regain my bearings and quietly answer, "No, there's no one."

"Oh, okay," she trailed off, unsure of how she should continue since relationships were still a touchy subject between the two of us.

Sensing her inner turmoil, I decided to switch gears by saying, "Anyways, that's enough about me. What have you been up to?"

"Well, I-" Brittany started, but she was suddenly cut off by the sound of feet barreling up from the basement. Realizing she was about to be interrupted, she let out a frustrated groan and looked behind her to find Puck and Sam making their way towards us.

"Where have you two been? Your missing everything!" Puck exclaimed as he dashed past us to grab a few more beers out of the fridge.

"Yeah, especially the three consecutive games of Beer Ball we just played," Trouty Mouth drunkenly chimed in, causing me to roll my eyes.

"We'll be down in a second. Now, grab your drinks and go," I growled out so they would leave us alone and only turned my attention back to Britt once they were gone. "Sorry, you were saying?"

"Actually, nevermind. Let's just get back to the party," she suddenly replied without meeting my eyes, causing me to frown. Before I could say anything, however, she had grabbed one of my wrists and started pulling me back downstairs to rejoin the festivities.

* * *

><p>We all ended up lasting about another hour before everyone started to crash. One by one, I watched all the other ex-Glee kids drop like flies. Surprisingly enough, Streisand was one of the last ones standing as she stumbled her way upstairs, notifying Britt and I that we were free to use one of the guest bedrooms if we liked.<p>

Quickly remembering that Chang One and Two were in one spare bedroom while Sam and Mercedes claimed the other, I realized that meant only one room was left unoccupied, which also meant that Brittany and I would have to share a bed. Deciding that I had met my personal limits for the evening, I regretfully untangled myself out from under Brittany's arm, which had somehow found its way around my shoulders without me noticing, and pushed myself up from the couch. Carefully stepping over a passed out Puck and Frankenteen, who were both sprawled out across the floor, I made my way upstairs so I could gather my things and leave.

Brittany ended up following right behind me, and as soon as she saw that I was planning to head home, she blurted out, "Wait, you can't go!"

Spinning on my heels with my purse already slung onto my shoulder, I asked, "What do you mean I _can't_ go?"

"You don't need to be driving after drinking all evening. Just stay the night here. Please," she begged as she made her way across the room towards me.

I knew this would all be harder for me in the morning, which was the reason why I wanted to leave in the first place, but I just couldn't find it in me to tell her no. In fact, I don't think I was even capable of telling _myself _no at that point. It was an opportunity I had been dreaming of for so long that it almost didn't seem real, but sure enough, it was.

"Fine," I begrudgingly grumbled as I placed the bag back down and slipped my keys back inside. Even if there would never be another chance at _us_, I tried to convince myself that just one more night spent sleeping beside her would be enough. Of course, I was just lying to myself. One more night would never be enough.

Pushing away my thoughts, I nodded my head towards the staircase that would lead us up to the second floor. A timid but giddy smile appeared on her face at the realization that I had actually agreed to stay. Dashing forward, she pulled me into a hug and thanked me for not pushing the issue before lacing her pinky with mine and led the way upstairs.

* * *

><p>My original intention was to sleep as far away from Brittany as possible in order to decrease the chances of me waking up to find myself snuggled into her slumbering form. It was an old tactic I used to attempt back in the days when I tried to convince myself that I didn't have feelings for my best friend, and just like back then, my plan didn't work.<p>

As soon as I woke up the next morning, I found us both cuddled up together at the center of the bed with my back pressed firmly into Brittany's front as she held me close. It was like absolutely nothing had changed between us, and that fact scared the absolute shit out of me.

So of course, I did what I do best. I chose to run away.

Carefully slipping out of her grasp, I slid out from under the sheets and quietly slipped out the bedroom door. Once I was back downstairs, I pulled on my shoes and grabbed my things so I could head over to my parent's house.

Of course, I couldn't just stop there.

Once I walked into my childhood home, I impulsively began gathering my things so I could get the hell out of Lima, feeling the intense need to be back in New York where I wouldn't be haunted by my past mistakes. My parents had already left for their annual New Year's vacation to Puerto Rico, so there really wasn't any reason left for me to stay.

Well, that's what I told myself, at least.

Within an hour, I was loaded up and ready to go. Sending a quick text to my parents to tell them I was on my way back to New York, I shifted my car into gear and started making my way out of town. The guilt didn't hit me until I saw the sign notifying me that I was leaving Lima city limits. As expected, I hadn't changed a single bit no matter how much I had tried. I was still the same scared little girl who would rather run away than deal with feelings.

I honestly have no idea how I managed to get home between the tears and constantly having to force myself to not turn around, but I did. After a ten hour drive spent intermittently sobbing, I was completely exhausted and emotionally drained, so I threw my stuff down as soon as I walked through the door and collapsed on the couch to take a much needed nap.

* * *

><p>I woke up a couple hours later to a loud rapping on my front door. Deciding to go investigate the source of the noise, I made my way over to the apartment's entrance and leaned forward a little bit to take a look through the peephole. Once I saw who was standing on the other side of her door, I felt my entire body freeze where it wasn't until the second round of knocking that I was broken out of my shocked daze and managed to regain enough of my motor skills to be able to open the door.<p>

Sure enough, there she was.

Brittany Susan Pierce, the absolute love of my life, was standing outside my New York apartment.

"Why weren't you there when I woke up this morning?" she angrily snapped, causing me to cower a little as I tried to avoid her query.

"Brittany, what are you doing here?" I rasped out, still half-asleep from the nap.

"No, you don't get to ask questions until you answer mine. Why did you leave without saying good-bye?" she repeated in a firmer tone.

Rubbing my eyes with the hand that wasn't still griping onto the doorknob, I asked, "Did you really come all the way here just to ask me that?"

"Yes, I _really_ did. Now, stop avoiding my questions."

Unable to look at the frustrated tears welling up in her tired eyes any longer, I shifted my gaze to the floor beside her and replied, "Britt, I don't know what you want me to say."

"Tell me that you felt it, too," the girl plead. "Tell me that it wasn't all just in my head and that no matter how much distance we try to put between us, we can never escape from how we feel about each other because I know I sure in the hell can't."

That caught my attention, causing me to snap my eyes back to hers and whisper a shocked, "What?"

"Don't act like you don't know, Santana. I was practically throwing myself at you all last night."

"You were?" I inquired, genuinely confused by her response.

"Of course I was. It was like you were the only person in the room. All I wanted all night was for your attention to be on me," Brittany confessed with a grimace as she ducked her head in embarrassment.

I took a moment to blink a few times as I allowed my mind to mull over the newly received information before quietly admitting, "I honestly had no idea. I guess I was just so nervous half the time that I just passed it off as you being your normal flirty self."

"Well, now you know," Brittany reaffirmed, her words quickly losing their bite as she focused her gaze back to mine, adding, "And I just came here hoping to find out that you might feel the same way."

After getting lost in the depths of her eyes for a long moment, I noticed her shoulders slump as she started to pull away. Realizing that I still hadn't given her an answer, I reached out to grasp her arm to stop her.

"Wait, Britt. You want to know how I feel? Then, I'll tell you. The truth is that I love you. I can't even recall a time when I _didn't_ love you, and I hate that I haven't been able to tell you about it until now. I have tried so many _damn_ times to admit my feelings for you over the years, but I've always been so scared of the repercussions that would come of it. I could never risk losing you or our friendship. I just couldn't."

I let my words hang in the air as Brittany stood there with a dumbfounded look on her face."You love me?" the blonde suddenly asked as if it were the only thing she had heard.

"I do," I confirmed without missing a beat, causing her eyes to widen in realization.

"You love me," she repeated, this time as more of a statement.

"Yes, Britt-Britt. I really do lov-" I tried to repeat, but my statement was abruptly cut off by a pair of soft lips pressing themselves onto my own. Taking a moment to realize what was happening, I snapped into action and started to return the kiss. By the time we broke away, we were both left gasping for air.

"I love you, San. I love you so much," she mumbled into my mouth between breaths, causing me to hungrily take her top lip between both of mine and pull her in for another round of Sweet Lady Kisses. I couldn't believe this was actually happening. It all felt like a dream.

We didn't last near as long as the first time, but we still remained in close proximity to one another as we broke the kiss once more. After a few seconds of us just standing there catching our breaths, I eventually managed to airily heave out, "Now what?"

"What do you mean?" Brittany asked with a voice that was just as breathless as mine.

"I mean, you're still at MIT, Britt. You have a life there," I tried to reason, but that only caused a small, sly grin to spread across her face as she lightly shook her head.

"No, if you would have stayed until this morning, you would have known that I decided to leave MIT about two months ago."

Her response caused my eyes to scrunch up in confusion. "You decided to what?"

Suddenly, her demeanor became a little more serious as she explained, "I-I'm transferring to NYU."

Felling my eyes widen in realization, I inquired, "Wait, so you're moving to New York?"

"Well, uh, y-yeah. I guess I kind of am," the blonde admitted while nervously rubbing the back of her neck. Glancing down at the floor, she allowed her arm to drop back by her side as she explained, "To be honest, I absolutely hate it over at MIT. I don't feel like I'm myself when I'm there, so I decided to give NYU a try. They're supposed to have a really good math program, and-and you'll be there, too, so I just thought that we-we could maybe-" The blonde cut herself off at that point, giving a tense expression that showed she was starting to get ahead of herself.

Taking a deep, calming breath, she looked at me square in the eye as she tried a slightly different approach. "From the moment I landed in Lima, I had been trying to work up the courage to tell you how I feel. I don't know why. It's not like I knew you were _out_. I just knew that I had been carrying around this weight for so long, and I just wanted to try one last time to win you over before giving up for good."

She gave a small pause, allowing me a moment to process the information before continuing, "I tried all night to tell you about my transfer, but every time I opened my mouth, someone would come and interrupt me. Then before I knew it, you were trying to leave. I figured I would have enough time to sum up the strength to confess my feelings once I convinced you to stay. I planned to tell you as soon as I woke up, but by then, you were gone. Once I heard that you had driven back to New York, I hopped on the first plane I could find that was headed in your direction."

"Wait, how did you even know I left? I didn't even tell anyone," I inquired skeptically.

"You told your parents," she reminded me. "When I got to your house and saw that no one was home, I tried to call you, but your phone was turned off. Getting a little worried, I called your mom, who told me that you were on your way back to New York."

"So, you came after me? Just like that?"

Shaking her head slightly to herself, she answered, "I couldn't let you leave again without chasing after you. All these years, I've regretted not trying harder for you." Taking my hand into hers, she gently started to run her thumb across my knuckles as she added, "There was no way I was about to let that happen again, so I booked the soonest flight possible."

Tightening my grip on her hand, I sighed out, "Britt, you can't blame yourself for what happened in the past. I was so far in the closet at that time that there was no way we would have ever worked. Maybe in a different world, but that just wasn't the reality you and I were dealt."

I watched as Brittany clenched her jaw in an attempt to fight back the tears welling up in her eyes. This was _not_ the way I had wanted this to go. "Hey, don't cry," I begged as I forced her to look into my eyes. "Sure, we might be a few years late, but it's not too late to give us a shot, right? I mean, I'm in a better place now, and you're apparently about to move here, so I don't know, maybe?" I inquired hopefully.

Something changed within her after hearing my question. Though the tears were still threatening to fall, a wide grin had spread across her face as she started to nod her head furiously. "Yes! God, yes," she answered and then pulled me into another passionate kiss.

We stood there for a few minutes, allowing our mouths to get reacquainted with one another before eventually having to break for air. Out of breath, I asked, "Do you maybe want to sit down and watch a movie or something? I'm sure you're exhausted after being put through the wringer today."

She couldn't help but giggle at my sudden change in topics but still managed to reply, "Yeah, that sounds like a great idea. Have anything particular in mind?" Not missing the small twinkle in here eye, I immediately caught onto her train of thought.

Walking her over to the couch, I allowed her to take a seat before moving to grab the worn out DVD case from the back of my movie cabinet. Holding it up for her to see, I asked, "Sweet Valley High?"

"Sweet Valley High," she approved with a firm nod.

"Awesome," I responded with a smile as I popped the first disk into the DVD player, grabbing the remote before darting across the room to take a seat beside the blonde so we could get our cuddle on. Of course, we ended up missing most of the first episode, especially since Britt couldn't even wait for the opening credits to finish before trying to jump my bones.

And in that moment, it all seemed to click into place.

Everything was finally how it was meant to be.

* * *

><p><em>Author's Note:<em>

_So, this fic was a little something I started about a year ago, but because I could not get it done in time for Christmas, I decided to wait a year to post it. Haha. The party takes place shortly after Christmas, right before everyone returns back to wherever they are now living, and is based on the Christmas party one of my friends throws every year, which is where the idea for this fic originally came from._

_The title is based on a song by The Avett Brothers. I used to listen to it on repeat to kind of get into Santana's headspace during the party and her drive back to New York, so I'd like to think it had a pretty big impact on how the story turned out._

Anyways, I really hope you enjoyed this little Christmassy oneshot. Feel free to let me know what you thought!

_P.S.: For anyone who is waiting for the next chapter of _Saw You First_, I really am trying to get it done. I just haven't found the right motivation to get started on it. (I blame it on the fact that I now own a digital art tablet and Wii U, but yeah... Lol.) My current goal is to get it written and posted by next Monday, so hopefully I'll be able to follow through with that plan._

lochnessie17. tumblr. com


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